The loss of a loved one comes with it a barrage of emotions and as the days, months and years pass it can be hard to put exactly into words how you’re feeling or how to get through the loss.
Such a traumatic experience can really take its toll but in another light, you can redefine the loss of a loved one.
Yes, I know that sounds strange! How could you possibly change the way you feel about a deep moment of sadness, but that doesn’t have to be the first and only emotion that springs forth when you reflect on the loss of a loved one.
You can choose to redefine their loss in these 3 ways:
From a death anniversary to a celebration of life
For many, the anniversary of their loved ones passing is a very gloomy day, and there even may be a sense of guilt for any feeling of happiness you feel on the day.
When you choose to view things with a different perspective, it can alter your outlook on the day itself and cause you to not feel so “down”.
Rather than choosing to view this day as the anniversary of their death, why not change the connotations of the day to a celebration of your loved one’s life? Celebrate the things they achieved in their lifetime, the things they were known for.
You could even create a beautiful memory wall, where people can write fond memories of your lost loved one. Practices such as this will change the course of the day, and hopefully, the emotions leading up to it.
Rather than the day holding a heavy sense of sorrow, it can be one filled with joy as you reflect on, and with others, the life they were privileged enough to live.
Immerse yourself in the things they loved
Death can make us realise that life is short, and rather than dwelling on things that you cannot change, it’s a time for you to enjoy the life that you currently have.
This could be you going to holiday destinations that your loved one would have wanted to go on, or perhaps engaging in hobbies that they loved. You don’t need to see this as a sad occurrence that your deceased loved one will no longer get to do the things they enjoy.
You can alternatively decide to view this with a different approach and use this as an opportunity to live the life they wanted to live.
This is also another great way to keep the legacy of your loved one alive. Maybe they used to run a sports club, did a lot of work for charity, or engaged in a significant amount of community work – these things don’t have to stop because your loved one has died.
You can still choose to continue with these entities. Even though your loved one has passed away, their lie can still be honoured through these simple activities.
Getting professional assistance or attending grief support groups are very practical ways to help you redefine the death of a loved one. Engaging with communities or specialised professionals like this will help you articulate your feelings and also help observe the different ways of looking at your loved one’s death – rather than through a lens of sadness.
Seeking help will also aid you in moving forward along your grief journey. You may be able to learn a thing or two about how others that have been bereaved were able to channel a different energy into the loss of their loved one.
We know losing a loved one can come with a varied amount of feelings: depression, anxiety, sadness, loneliness – we’ve been there!
However, we do hope that from this post you were able to get some practical tips on the ways you can change the way you view a loved one’s death. It’s far easier than explained but we hope that you can find the anniversaries leading up to your loved one’s death, their birthdays or even just your day-to-day less daunting.
They may not be with you physically, but you can certainly still find ways to redefine their loss. It’s certainly never too late to do this!
In what ways have you redefined the loss of a loved one? Please share them below. You never know who it might help.