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Getting Married: How I Met My Wife, Chidinma

Before I share about getting married to Chidinma, I will like to share how we met and some conversations we had while planning to journey through life together.

Our first stop is on how Chidinma and I met

How Did We Meet?

Chidinma moved to Coventry when she began her Masters degree at Warwick University, we both attended the same church (Holy Ghost Zone, Coventry); served in different capacities within the church and served together in the worship team.

One of the things I remember distinctly about her singing was that almost every song she sang had a ‘classical twist’ because she was a classical singer. I found that fascinating because at best I had only seen a classical singer on television, as a result we began to incorporate classical style special numbers into our church services.

I don’t know if everyone enjoyed and felt ministered to by the classical renditions, but I speak for myself that I very much enjoyed each rendition she led. (I know what you’re thinking, but that wasn’t the case)

Part of my responsibilities within the church was the overall direction of the university and teens ministry as well as the worship team; the worship team had little of my attention as I spent most of my time and energy on the university ministry. She spoke on behalf of the worship team a lot; I mean a lot.

Chidinma became the worship team advocate who wasn’t shy at diplomatically pointing out the need for me to spend some more energy and time on the worship team. We worked on quite a number of church projects and our friendship developed overtime. It turns out that my soft spot for her had grown so much that everyone else but me knew that I was already smitten! (was I slow or what?).

I enjoy taking pictures and had saved up over £2,000 to buy a professional camera and additional gears. I had bought the equipment less than 3 months when Chidinma asked if she could lend my gear for a week or so, without a second thought I allowed her to borrow it. I didn’t think anything of it much but when I look back at moments like that, ‘Ashay’ I was already smitten. I can now say that, the girl already had my “mumu* button.

We became really good friends.

Was I Slow or what?

I was just being a genuine, true and unadulterated friend ( some say this is called ‘friend zone’) until one day, I am unsure how this works for most guys but for me, it felt like scales were removed from my eyes and I was like “Ye! Ye! wait a minute….. who’s this girl?

I began to see her differently. Maybe it was after the teaching series on the songs of Solomon that triggered it, I don’t know sha!

I became conscious of how attractive she was and how I was attracted to her. She became a prayer point. Thoughts of her invaded even my prayer times. Eventually I shared how I felt with her and we agreed to remain friends until we had independently spent some time in prayers and sought Godly counsels. (I will write on this transitional step from singlehood to *courtship* at some point).

We journeyed from friendship to courtship (exclusive relationship). We prepared for marriage as best as we could by learning about ourselves, planned dates, prayed together, about the journey ahead to discover our unique rhythm and theme/DNA as a couple.

One of the things that we learnt during this stage was self-control and delayed gratification, I tell you it was one of the hardest things we learnt.

My circle of friends adopted her immediately, she was so deeply grafted into the circle to the extent that she became the messenger from them to me most of the time. I mean she heard about the ‘gists’ long before me, I was almost always late to the gist parties.

Chidinma smiled cheek to cheek as she rested her head on Tolu's back. Getting Married

Getting married

Next quick Stops are the most beautiful days of my life

  1. Proposal – the day she said yes
  2. Our wedding – traditional and white
  3. The birth of our children, Anisa and Josiah

     

TOLU’S DICTIONARY

  • Mumu button: is a soft spot a person has that can make them do something or act in a way that they wouldn’t normally do.
  • Ashay: as in
  • Ye!: exclamation
  • Sha: anyway; like that
  • Gist: to gossip, or have a serious conversation

To Be Continued…

I would like to hear from you. Would you please share your thoughts, comments and reflections below. Thank you.

0a51c b13765 9d422b30038541f18c48da6fe2aa7369mv2 Getting Married: How I Met My Wife, Chidinma

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